today. i. am. overwhelmed.

work is kicking my ass.

i tried to write a paper tonight; it didn’t happen.
had an intense conversation with a good friend; it didn’t help.
i got through most of my rhetoric reading, but not all of it.
i have to be to work at 7 AM tomorrow so that i can help clean guest rooms for “housekeeping appreciation day”…wtf.
i ate half a pizza by myself (it was thin crust though…does that make it better?).
john was supposed to come over tonight to help with the dogs, and didn’t.
mabeline still has kennel cough and i can’t afford to take her to the vet right now.
vodka/diet tonics are yummy.
i cry when i drive.
i love my job.
i am so happy to be in school.
my dogs are so loyal and i am so lucky to have their company.
my sister comes home to visit on the 26th and we will drink a bottle of wine.
my family doesn’t ask me questions about my divorce.
i refinanced my car and now my payment is over 100 bucks less a month.
i make a crap ton more money than i used to.
i can write poems.
i have the best friends in the world.
change will make me stronger.
ps. this is not a poem.
i need some sleep for hell’s sake.
today this is my song:

In Fear and Faith–Circa Survive
can we last through the winter
the water’s starting to freeze
the only one who remembers
taking the wrong step falling in front of me
this body’s already aging
these nights are already long
and if I last through the winter I swear to you now, I wont call

congratulations,
go home now

will we last through the winter
will we make it to see
I never wanted a partner
and I never loved you now you are free to leave
this heart is already frozen
I can’t remember the fall
and if I last through the winter I swear to you now, I won’t call

congratulations,
go home now

it’s too late it’s too late
they won’t let go
follow five foot steps through that open door, open door
it’s too late its too late
they won’t let go
follow five foot steps through that open door, open door

it must be buried under the heart
that makes this pace consistant
you’ll find it torn, thats gates been open
and I’ve been wondering, if you’d been real with us

it’s too late…

it’s too late it’s too late
they won’t let go
follow five foot steps through that open door, open door
it’s too late its too late
they won’t let go
follow five foot steps through that open door, open door

its that start stop and go
you’ve been dying for, you’ve been dying for


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