perception, reality & two way mirrors

the past 24 hours have been incredibly intense and life changing.  not to mention, i had a migraine.  i will not and simply can not talk about everything that went on, but from now on life is different.  john and i had a talk that was more honest than any conversation we had had in years, and in the end–life is changed.  reality has changed.  i am changed.  

now i feel like the future is actually really available to me…and not just something that lingers over my head that i will “get to” eventually.  it is here and i am in it and the choices i make from here on out will sculpt the person that i am two years from now…or even six months from now.  in a lot of ways, leaving the past (as heart wrenching as it is) is a good thing and i can only take what i have learned and move on to a better reality that feels welcoming.  it just so happened that my homework for my rhetorical theory class tonight was about reality and how we, as humans, communicate with symbols in order to build our own reality.  good quote coming:
“reality is not fixed but changes according to the symbols we use to talk about it.”  
reality is NOT fixed.  it is something we create.  it is context.  it is malleable.  it is moveable.  it is fluid.  this concept means more to me now than ever.  my reality is what i choose it to be.  by the symbols i CHOOSE to communicate with i will alter this reality until i am able to find a place that is home….for ME.  (i will stop capitalizing words now, because you may feel as though i am yelling at you…which is not the symbol of communication i would like to
 put across at this time.)  people who don’t take responsibility for their own reality bother me.  things don’t just “happen” to us.  we bring things to ourselves.  i really believe that if our life is not what we want it to be, it is because we have put ourselves in that position.  of course, i am not yet in the place that i would like to be…but i have an idea of what it is and how to get there.  the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction are intense and i can choose to wallow in the mistakes i have made and the bad things that are happening, or i can focus on what is going great in my life and bring more of that greatness into my world.  divorce sucks ass.  not much else to that.  i miss my husband and i miss the life that we use to have.  but if i focus on only that, i will never get out of it.  it will stay with me and eventually overtake.  and i simply can’t do that to myself.

so, lets focus on some good shit, ok?  (i am talking to myself here…of course).  
as a good friend said to me tonight, welcome to the other side of the looking glass, alice.

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