25 random things turned into a blog cause i am too lazy to write a real blog, by chelsea.

1) when i was a little kiddo…oh, like a year and a half or so, i had to have a cast put on my leg because it was growing all pigeon toed or something. it fixed the problem, but i hated that thing so much i used to bang my leg on the porch stairs in the summer time to try to knock it off. yup, even as a youngin, i was a bad ass.

2) for my very first halloween, my mom thought it would be “cute” to dress me up as a leaf. yup, a leaf. no clue.

3) i was a classical ballerina for 13 years and was on the dance company in high school.

4) i owe kelley $97.00 for my britney spears ticket, and i am sure it will be worth every penny.

5) when i was 14, my boyfriend left a hickey on my neck and i knew my mom would killl me, so i tried to burn myself with the curling iron to cover it (yup, i was that scared), which didn’t work. my mom figured it out and when i went to bed she call my boyfriend (benjamin meekins…hahaha) and gave him a piece of her mind. she was scary. i still feel badly for the boy. but i guess since we are still friends he got over it.

6) i passed out getting my first tattoo touched up. it was ridiculously embarrassing. i woke up to a circle of concerned heads surrounding me and pretty much wanted to crawl into a hole and die. they were pretty cool about it, but i remember saying something stupid like “i bet that happens to you guys all the time”…and he promptly said “um, no, not really”. FAIL. at least tell me that it does. crap.

7) five people i would marry if i could: 1) anthony bourdain 2) michael stipe 3) eddie furlong 4) angelina jolie 5) ryan gosling.

just in case you were wondering.

8) i have a very strange fear/obsession with death and decomposing bodies. it bothers me (go figure– but i think a lot of it stems from my religious upbringing). so, i thought i would immerse myself in it and use it as a spring board for my rhetorical theory class project. i will be writing a series of 4 papers on the rhetoric of death and funerals in western culture. i will be using the HBO series Six Feet Under, the book “Stiff” by Mary Roach, the Western funeral itself, and another book called “The American Way of Death” by Jessica Mitford–mostly for her section entitled “Behind the Formaldehyde Curtain”. If i seem depressed or dark and deathy over the next 4 months, you now know why.

9) my last semester at UVU was during the Bush/Kerry election and when Michael Moore came to campus. This wasn’t fun. I think that semester is when i really started to hate people in general, more specifically neo-conservatives who don’t use their brain. i ended up being interviewed for the news during a rally on campus…which then ended up being in the documentary “This Divided State” (http://www.thisdividedstate.com/). The documentary was shown at several international film festivals. GO WATCH IT!!!

10) today my throat hurts and my glads are the size of golf balls…i swear to god.

11) every guy i have seriously dated (or married) has been a musician…and i didn’t even mean for that to happen. still trying to figure that one out. i am guessing it is because i am obsessed with music of all kinds, so it fits. i am not a musician, but music a huge part of my life. i do not understand people who don’t connect to music. the weird thing is that i know musicians who don’t connect to music at all–they just happen to be good at it. that bothers me beyond comprehension.

‘ I can not sleep without the radio on. ‘

12) i love dip. haha. yeah, dip. i could eat various dips for all meals. bean dip, artichoke dip, ranch dip, hummus dip, spinach dip, etc. if i could live in a world of tapas and dips, i would be happy. i like small food. i am a weirdo.

13) i really REALLY believe that no one should get married before they are 30. and i don’t even say that out of being bitter, cause i am not. i don’t regret getting married at all…just wish we were smarter about the whole thing–that sort of smart that only comes with age, knowing yourself, and experience. if i ever do that whole “married” thing again–at least i feel like now i know what i am doing. well, that is a broad statement. i recant. i mean, at least now i know what i would be getting myself into. hahaha.

14) i went through a long phase of never wanting kids. i am over it. i would like me a few babies someday i think. maybe not from my own personal body…but from somewhere. HAHAHAH.

15) i will never read the harry potter or twilight series. yes, i am a snob. but even more than that, anything that people get obsessed over in groups, nay MOBS, scares me a little bit. lord knows, i love my friends/family that love that crap–but i just can’t do it. plus, i have a love affair with real vampires…the old school ones that stay true to the folklore and myth of the vampire. this sparkling in the sun bidness i just can’t hang with. although, i have to say, i think it would sort of be bad ass to sparkle in the sun. (thinking about trying out large amounts of body glitter……..).

16) i am a sucker for entertainment gossip. and i hate that about myself.

17) i learned how to drive in a minivan with a license plate decal that said “SUPERMOM”. it was embarrassing, to say the least.

18) trying to teach rachel wells (rounds) how to dance in the 5th grade was probably one of the funniest days of my life. i am sorry, rach, but i think of it often. you, in your shorts, converse high tops, NKOTB tee shirt, and short boy hair–trying to bust the roger rabbit on your drive way, was a highlight of my life.

19) i never feel as smart as people think i am. most of the time, i feel like a fraud who can BS well. but then, on occasion, i surprise myself.

20) i seriously have to pee like every 15 minutes. it is a lot in life i have to deal with. people make fun of me.

21) i sleep better at night now than i ever have in my life…which means my six year eye twitch is just about done for. i never could tell what it was that would trigger that damn twitch–and anyone who knows me well has seen it, made fun of me for it, and been completely distracted while talking to me. i thought perhaps it was because of being deficient in iron or calcium…but it wasn’t. i thought glasses would the trick. i can see now, but they didn’t help the twitch. my eye doctor recommended botox, but i was like, HELL NO. turns out, it is all about the sleep. no botox needed.

22) my dream job would be to write for a food and wine magazine. i think i will try to make that happen someday.

23) i have made it a goal to start donating more to various charities. mostly because everyone is freaking out about the economy and i can use all the good karma i can get. also, because i think the more you give away, the more you get back. HRC and March of Dimes are my affiliations of choice at the moment. yay for equal rights and healthy babies!

24) carbs and sugar are my enemy.

25) it would really help me out if someone would buy my house. anyone anyone???


i promise i will fix the carpet in the spare bedroom before you move in.


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