philadelphia cream cheese divorce

lots to talk about. sort of gets old to have lots to talk about. i would like to have less to talk about, actually. i need a break. one week until portland. i can’t wait.

so, last week i spent most of my time in the sunny city of philadelphia. i had a sweet 3 days to prepare for the trip, as it was a last minute thing (didn’t have to be, but was…). found out friday i would be leaving on monday, including missing my web design class and not getting back into town until the following thursday. it was a whirlwind. however, being the aching heart to travel person that i am, i was excited to fly to a new city and check shiz out. philly didn’t disappoint. i went with my friend kimberly, who i work with, so i also had great company. the only really unfortunate thing that happened was that our luggage didn’t make our connecting flight and so we were luggage-less our first day. meaning, i had to attend a corporate training sans shower, make up, real deodorant, or clean clothes. it wasn’t a pretty sight, let’s be honest. however, we were good sports about it and did our best to be present at the training. and, truth be told, we kick some serious ass. the training was FANTASTIC. very motivating and positive (which is sort of a nice break from the downer that is my GM). when we weren’t in sales training, we were eating at amazing restaurants and doing great shopping. philly was a balmy 65 degrees, so it was prefect for walking around the city and having coffee on the outside patio at the nearby bakery. i like salt lake city–a lot–but being in other “REAL” cities, i realize some of the things that i am missing. like PEOPLE!! out and about and all over the place. streets jam packed with shoppers, students, tourists, and business people. it was awesome. everything is so close together, and everything here in SLC is very spread out–which is why everyone drives and no one walks. so, it was cool. also, the mass amounts of name brand stores–like burberry, prada, sephora, etc. i was in heaven. a heaven i can’t afford…but still. i walked away with new fragrances from both burberry and marc jacobs, and also some great calvin klien lip gloss. so, lets just say i dabbled. and now i smell of luxury! πŸ™‚ and probably the best part of the trip was being able to finally meet IN PERSON a friend who i made about 5 years ago on myspace because we both had boston terriers. she was amazing and i was so happy to actually seal that friendship with a hug and a margarita (well, she is knocked up…i had a margarita…but that is ok)!!! it was a great trip.

the hotel has been kind of crazy. they have implemented 48 hour work weeks to cut back on labor costs for our hourly employees. meaning, i am working an extra day a week for free. not so awesome. it is supposed to be temporary–but it has been a strain to put that much more time into work when i barely have two seconds to sleep on a normal basis. hopefully, this means we don’t have to lay anyone off…but i am ready to be on my regular schedule again. this economy needs to get a movin.

in addition, i am now officially divorced. congrats? boos and hisses? happy? sad? relieved? eff. all of the above. a finality put upon a part of my life. a divorce from an entire space in time that has nothing to do with a person. a document that puts the lid on a box i lived in for 7 years–a box i can now tape up and put on the shelf to collect dust, i suppose. it seemed to take forever and finish up so fast, all at once. i want to celebrate and lock myself up in my room at the same time. i want to move on and go back. but my overarching emotion is simply progress. this is a progression in my life that is mandatory and positive. and now i can take whatever next steps that i need to in order to be a full person sans marriage and everything that comes with it. WHEEE! and the other good news is that i have someone coming to look at the house tomorrow!!! if this house gets sold, i will have nothing left holding me back and you all better watch the eff out, cause i am going to get crazy. well, or at least be more productive in my craziness. yes, that is more like it. please send all positive house selling vibes my direction.

life is weird. i never gives me what i expect. sometimes it messes with me in ways that i can’t understand and maybe never will. but i refuse to get caught up in the muddiness of things that don’t make sense and i will continue to focus on what feels right. you know, like business trips to new cities, research for school, drinks with good friends, and finally having the ability to make connections with people in a way that i haven’t been able to for the past 7 years. i think that means dating…or something. haha. i am finally feeling like i belong to myself again–and i haven’t felt that in a long time. other people have acquired too much of me and it is time to reclaim!

also, please note my birthday is one week from today. i accept gifts, cash, and other pleasurables. thank you.

OH! and PS–new poem i wrote on the plane to philly is up on Engel. πŸ™‚

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Categories: Uncategorized

1 reply »

  1. i love reading your blog…. yay for the divorce. and tears for it too. yay for progressing in your adulthoodness with school, work, friends, personal satisfaction…you are an inspiration to me i hope you know.

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