thursday thoughts.

things have been rather mellow.  actually, more mellow than i can ever remember them being–and in the best possible ways, i suppose.  as someone who has always thrived on being busy, productive, and overall stressed out at all times, i am trying to enjoy this downtime and ignore the feeling that creeps up every so often to get busy again.

i have recently stopped drinking for a while–and it is interesting to see how much that sort of flips your life around a bit.  i have never been a heavy drinker, in the sense that getting drunk was ever the point.  however, i had worked my way into a bad habit of having a drink or two (and sometimes three) on a near daily basis.  mostly because i enjoy drinking wine while i cook (especially when i cook WITH it!), or have a drink while i snuggle up with my man or my pups to watch a flick.  it just got to be a way of life really.  and most of my social life, in some way, revolved around grabbing a drink, drinking at someone’s house, or pre-gaming before the actual “game.” And, i suppose i didn’t realize how involved alcohol was in my life until i cut it out–and found i had nothing really to do!  gasp!  what a harsh and sort of ridiculous reality.

the main reason i cut out the drinking was to lose a few pounds–which is working with the help of also cutting out the carbs and sugar.  alcohol has so many calories that i don’t need and was ingesting–nearly every day.  i guess i didn’t realize that the second effect of not drinking was going to be feeling like a hermit.  i have been staying home a lot. my goal was to stop drinking until my birthday on february 25th.  however, i am starting to think about how i am going to ‘dive back in’ once that day comes.  hopefully, my habits will have changed enough that making a weekly trip to the liquor store for my supply of wine and vodka won’t be necessary.  and hopefully, i won’t have that daily urge to have a cocktail with dinner.  honestly, i don’t need it….and i don’t want to feel like i want it anymore. but, there is the huge part of me that feels like i won’t be fun–or do fun things–or that i won’t see friends because we simply can’t think of alternative things to do.  and then i think that is really fucked up.  going for coffee still sounds lame to me…..and that is problematic.

but i am going to do it.  and i hope to never be at the point of alcohol consumption that i have been in the past 3 years or so. and let me be clear here–it isn’t a ridiculous amount. i am not a party girl puking in the bathrooms of bars or killing a bottle of anything by myself at home.  i would say my drinking is/was moderate.  but i would also say it wasn’t healthy and probably contributed to the extra lbs i have so happily (yeah, right) put on since my divorce and grad school. and frankly, life is really happy and full right now–and i can part with my daily habit and let alcohol go back to being a weekend novelty…and perhaps skip a few weekends once in a while.

in the meantime, i am trying to get creative with the things i do and at the same time, be ok with being a homebody (which i have always sort of wanted and never had time to be).  i hope to never take a ‘roadie’ cocktail anywhere again.  a flask, maybe.  maaaaaybe.  therefore, UMFA, the otters at the living planet aquarium, and alchemy coffee shop are going to get some visits from chelsea and russell.  and anyone else would like to come along.  i will, however, be looking forward to a nice glass of wine and a happy ‘salut’ with friends on my 32nd birthday in six weeks.  i have no intention of never drinking again–but it is high time i looked forward with a healthy outlook on life and change some habits now, while i can and while my motivation is high.  and hopefully, this time next year, i will also be much thinner. ❤

And, those are my thoughts for this thursday. 🙂

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2 replies »

  1. i suppose the no drinking also helps when Muscle is in "boarding mode", though i think he needs a "be more fun" drink more often than you do this time of the year!! miss you guys, i have a layover for an hour on Feb 2 if you want to come see me mid morning…..!?!?

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