copy cat

my good friend, stephanie from Bloom in Saturation, posted this blog after seeing it on another blog she follows.  i copied her. i have been trying to post all week, but have been so busy, this at least got something up.  🙂 
What is your greatest fear? not checking things off my “to-do in life” list.  things like have some kiddos and travel to Europe.  have a happy marriage.  get my PhD.  you know, things like that.  and yes, even after writing a book on death, that still scares me too. not necessarily in that order. 😉

What is your current state of mind? Grateful for everything I love in life and anxious and excited for things in my future.

What is your favorite occupation (way of spending time)? held up in a coffee shop reading or writing or spending time with my favorite person, russell.  also, time with my sisters can’t be matched.  my job is actually up there too…i enjoy my work.  additionally, school.  i love being in school and am a little sad right now that i am done for a while.

What historical figure do you most identify with? Rainer Maria Rilke’, the poet.  I think we have mirrored souls. 

Which living person do you most admire? I have a few professors from my undergrad program that i will always admire for their passion for writing and for their pursuit of higher education through kids, divorces, etc. They are some incredibly strong women who i look up to and always will. 

Who is your favorite fictional hero? Right now, as I am in the middle of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series, Lisabeth Salandar.  I have a major girl crush on her.

Who are your real life hero’s? myself.  i know, i know–but it has to be.  i have come a long way in the past five years, and personally, to be where i am today is pretty heroic.

What is your most treasured possession? my people.  i could do without any THING, but i could never do without the amazing people in my life. oh, and my dogs.

When and where were you happiest? i am always the happiest when i am with russ.  location doesn’t matter much–although vacation is always a prime choice. i think that i was pretty damn happy when russ and i were in them middle of wine country…sigh.  that was happy.

What is your most obvious characteristic? i think my eyes.  that is what people comment on most, anyway.

What is the trait you most deplore (hate) in yourself? i don’t “hate” anything about myself.  and, i truly believe that the things i don’t super love–i work on changing.  i am a constant work in progress.  also, i don’t like to focus on self-hatred, so that is about all you will get for this kind of question.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? ignorance.  blatant ignorance. and hate.

What is your greatest extravagance? right now, i don’t have any.  i guess you could say that my student loans have replaced any extravagance.  

What is your favorite journey? like my friend steph said, my relationship.  i am in awe of it and love the path it is taking us on.  it is a journey that i want to stay on for a long long time.

What do you most dislike about your appearance? well, i am starting to get smile line wrinkles…and that sort of pisses me off. why should i be punished for smiling?

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? patience.

On what occasion do you lie? i don’t. this has become VERY important to me. but i also don’t say hurtful things.  silence can be virtuous.

Which words or phrases do you over use? i sing two songs on a regular basis–which russell makes fun of me for constantly.  “oooo, baby i love your ways….everyday”….and “oooo, baby baby it’s a wild world.”  no idea.  they are just constantly in my head.  you never know which one you are going to get.  if you are lucky, sometimes some sweet four non-blondes will come out with “i wake up in the morning and i step outside and i take a deep breath and i get real high…..and i scream at the top of my lungs WHAT’S GOIN ON?”  i know.  super weird. 

in regular talking, i don’t know that i turn one particular phrase over and over. 

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? that i could eat whatever i want without my ass becoming the size of a mac truck.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? finishing grad school with straight A‘s in the midst of a divorce, home foreclosure, some of the worst and most toxic relationships of my life, and a total self overhaul.  the end got better though… 😉

Where would you like to live? by the ocean. someday, i would love to live by the ocean. 

What is the quality you admire most in a man? self-motivation, loyalty, confidence, humor, understanding, the ability to understand himself, the capability to talk about feelings, the drive to do and be more all the time, the patience to deal with some of my crap. 🙂 (his name is russell)

What is the quality you admire most in a woman? self love and the ability to be whole on her own terms.

What is it you most dislike? confrontation.  i will do it, but i really hate it.  i would much rather internally struggle until i get over something most of time–which isn’t good at all. i think i had so much confrontation in my life that now i try to avoid it at all costs. now, i am the queen of letting things roll off my shoulders.  things just don’t upset me like they used to, which is good.  but, when something does upset me, i have a very hard time expressing that because i still equate confrontation with terrible endings (endings that sometimes last and last and last….). i am just now beginning to understand that confrontation doesn’t always equal an ending, but can do the opposite.  it can lead to new and better beginnings.

If you were to die and come back as a person or animal, what do you think it would it be? a bird, of course.  a really pretty colorful bird. 

If you could choose an object to come back as, what would it be? a book full of blank pages so that someone could write an amazing story between my solid bindings.

What is your motto (words you live by or mean a lot to you)?   
“If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for the Creator, there is no poverty.”
“Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.”
Both by Rainer Maria Rilke’ 

Who has been the greatest influence on you? as a whole?  probably my amazing parents. they taught me all the good stuff.  although, currently, i would have to say russell.  he is such a great person and so wonderful to me that i constantly check myself because he makes me feel like being the best chelsea i could ever be. i feel like my best self when i am with him…and that is a good feeling.

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