the weeks keep rushing by….like the side of the road from a speeding car. that is exactly how my life feels these days. i feel like i have been thrown into some kind of centrifugal force in which a string is tied to my chest pulling me through at super high rates of speed. even when my days are slow, time still goes so fast.
spring seems to have made a entrance. it always feels like it is the first time. virgin springtime…it is like i have never seen the glorious sun. after 32 years of spring always coming back, you think it would be expected. it never is.
sunday i will try snowboarding for the first time. it will be 70 degrees, so i can’t imagine i will hate it. however, i hope i don’t die.
some other things:
after numerous tests the past two weeks, i have found out that i have a heart defect called mitral valve prolapse and regurgitation. since i was about 14 i have had what i thought were palpitations related to anxiety or something like that–however, in the past 6 months or so, they became more frequent, more fluttery, and decided to be super fun by adding pressure and pain. yay! so, i went to an internal medicine doctor to get checked out. good news, i am super freaking healthy (thanks in part to my major cut back in alcohol and crappy food)…my blood work, weight, reflexes, and girly parts are all 100% pristine (yes!). but that damn heart valve has decided to be an asshole. basically, my valve (2 valves to be exact) do not close properly and they allow blood to back-flow into chambers of my heart where it doesn’t belong–causing pain. prognosis? meh. not really sure. i have to get a cardiologist and get echocardiograms yearly to make sure my “mild” case does not end up being moderate/severe. if that ever happens, then a valve replacement may occur. you know, where they break your ribs open and put a pig valve in or something…haha. all joking aside, it is sort of strange to know that this thing that has been bothering me for 15+ years has a name, and i am not crazy, and anxiety isn’t the cause (something about it being related to anxiety really didn’t make me happy–that seemed like a MUCH larger hurdle than a valve defect for some reason). it is also difficult to be ok with not being able to DO anything about it. the caffeine i cut out, the extra sleep, the heart healthy food are all good, but really, if this valve is going to get any worse, it will do that regardless of what i do. all i can do is watch it and see my cardiologist every year. crazy. i am totally defected.
i will say this though–for the first time in my life, my heart is happier, fuller, and healthier than it ever has been. ironic that now i get diagnosed with a heart defect–when finally everything feels intact.